Most people are surprised we both enjoy this show so much as you'd think it hits a little too close to home. (Reminder, though stage 4, my cancer hasn't spread to any vital organs at this point, so treatable for years.)
I think the real draw for us is to see these rather quirky characters not just navigating through some of the hard things we are but doing it in a way that leaves us laughing. It is awfully hard to be sad or scared if you're laughing.
This is been my personal belief for years… one I'm practicing with my family and friends as we deal with my cancer. As I was just telling a friend yesterday, I think cancer is hardest emotionally on the people who love the person with it. Because I love them, I seek every chance I can to let them know that while it sucks, there are so many blessings that keep emerging.
One of the favorite games I taught my kids is sort of like bingo. Whenever something great falls into our lap because of cancer, the first person to shout "Cancer Perk!" wins. And there are so many, many perks! First of all, during Hammer Week Chemo, I have friends bring dinner every night for five days. Which is great just for the tasty meal but also I enjoy the chit-chat at drop off. Sometimes it is a friend I've not seen in person in weeks, sometimes months even.
Cancer got both of my parents up here for a visit. Both of them were on a generous mission to make our home as comfortable and entertaining as possible, so a few rooms were organized and redecorated (which included the addition of a giant "smart" TV). One of my favorite people comes out every weekend to run errands with me then just hang out. It also brought a dear friend from Minneapolis who I've not seen in years. New friendships are also developing.
But wait. There's more! Thanks a couple of breast cancer charities, we have a cleaning service and in the spring/summer, access to a vacation house on the beach!
The biggest "perk" though, the one that my son and I find ourselves recognizing and discussing after watching The Big C, is how it has made us reevaluate our priorities. Of course, he is scared of the idea of my dying while he's still in high school or college, but he's pushing past that and embracing the focusing on today.
Today, I may look a little funny with the hair loss, need him to wash his hands a lot and I need a nap… but otherwise, nothing has changed other than we're now both have a new awareness that we should enjoy today as we don't know for sure how many tomorrows together we have.
Our new focus is to cherish the people that really matter and the people who just bring us down, just politeness is all they get. Our activities (family or personal) are also viewed from this point of view. What is the most valuable and enjoyable use of our time? Material objects seem far less important. For Christmas, we discussed the idea of just one gift and the money we'd normally spend, put that into a really fabulous trip. Our entire family agreed that we enjoy travel far more than new games, designer clothes, gadgets, etc. This concept was sparked by an episode in the show! Indeed this is "TV Therapy".
We're now in the third of out four seasons, based on the writing style so far, my gut is telling me there is no miracle for the lead character. Which will be hard for us both to watch when the 4th season winds down but I expect it to be just as therapeutic. And hopefully, we will be laughing at it so when my time comes—be it two or 30 years from now—we'll also see the funny with the sad.
