What makes my cancer stage 4 is that it has spread. Which is often the case because my cancer is a freakishly fast growing, usually diagnosed at least Stage 3 but often Stage 4 like myself.
Mine has spread beyond the tumor in my breast to several my lymph nodes in my chest. What looks like a small tumor is also showing up in my lower spine (specifically my L1 and L5 vertebra). However, there are no tumors or even cells showing up in any of my vital organs.
Also, I'm ER/PR positive and HER2 negative… I sorta kinda understand why that is good. Something to do with there being drugs out there that have often work in situations where that is the case.
It is officially incurable but totally treatable. In fact, my oncologist has been treating some stage 4 patients for decades now. Technically, they have cancer but no tumors that are messing with the quality of their lives.
IBC is a very aggressive kind of cancer that my doctor explains requires an equally aggressive approach in treating. Over the next year or so will be a series chemo, surgery, radiation and hormone therapies. But in my immediate future is the chemo. Right after my mediport is placed in my chest tomorrow, I get wheeled over to oncology to start the regimen. Dr. R is putting me on what I have dubbed "The Hammer Cocktail" of chemo drugs.
For the next 4-6 months, every three weeks I'll get the Hammer Cocktail. In addition to my hair falling out, there will be 2-3 days of extreme fatigue and varying nausea. Plus some other side effects that I'll notice but shouldn't interfere with my daily activities.
Weekly, I'll get a smaller dose that I probably won't cause the same fatigue or nausea. I also will get my blood drawn every week so that they can watch for all sorts of things. Biggest concern is keeping an eye on my white blood count cells as those are what fights off infection.
Life with a compromised immune system will require some changes in how I (and my family) do things. All manageable, of course.
I am sad and scared. Can't yet articulate how I feel about it in regards to my children. (Just typing that sentence my chest tightens painfully). But that said, yes my cancer is not curable… however, right now, it is not terminal either. Yes, I'm looking at some not so great odds but those studies aren't taking into account so many other advantages I personally have going into this. My age, my access to great medical care, etc.
It occurs to me that I've already defied the odds in getting the kind of breast cancer only 1% get. I now have a history of defying odds so why not operate with the belief that I will continue to do so?
For the next 4-6 months, every three weeks I'll get the Hammer Cocktail. In addition to my hair falling out, there will be 2-3 days of extreme fatigue and varying nausea. Plus some other side effects that I'll notice but shouldn't interfere with my daily activities.
Weekly, I'll get a smaller dose that I probably won't cause the same fatigue or nausea. I also will get my blood drawn every week so that they can watch for all sorts of things. Biggest concern is keeping an eye on my white blood count cells as those are what fights off infection.
Life with a compromised immune system will require some changes in how I (and my family) do things. All manageable, of course.
I am sad and scared. Can't yet articulate how I feel about it in regards to my children. (Just typing that sentence my chest tightens painfully). But that said, yes my cancer is not curable… however, right now, it is not terminal either. Yes, I'm looking at some not so great odds but those studies aren't taking into account so many other advantages I personally have going into this. My age, my access to great medical care, etc.
It occurs to me that I've already defied the odds in getting the kind of breast cancer only 1% get. I now have a history of defying odds so why not operate with the belief that I will continue to do so?
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