"I Fell in Love with You When You Were Bald"

Hair has started to come out in frequent noticeable clumps a few days ago.  No bald spots yet but so glad I got the long locks cut off 10 days ago, far less mess. Also so appreciative of the gift a longtime and quite fashionable friend sent me: a head band that is perfect for my thinned out hair (wearing it now as a matter of fact) but as more chunks fall out, it widens. Then converts to a complete head wrap when I'm bald.

Debating if I should go this weekend for a pixie style cut. But at the rate the chunks are coming out, I'm thinking sometime next week I'll need it shaved.  Decisions, decisions! I did go ahead and order a couple more cute head wraps as I decided upon talking to others to skip the wig until cooler weather. Apparently, a wig is uncomfortable in heat. Plus, not entirely sure I even want one now. While my fellow Wednesday chemo buddies are beautiful women, I can tell the wigs from real hair so is it worth the expense and discomfort?

I'm actually pretty ok with this hair loss. Being prepared is part of it, but a well timed text from my father eliminated any lingering sadness. He had just checked in on me after I had seen first the collection caught in the hair trap of shower then my brush as I got ready for the day. "It'll grow back and remember, I fell in love with you when you were bald."

Daddies wield such power in their daughters' lives, regardless of age.

Speaking of dads, need to give a shout out to my husband. He took spur of the moment day off to take our son and his buddy to King's Dominion today. He was initially reluctant as I just had a chemo treatment yesterday (more on that to follow) out of fear that I might be too exhausted to be alone. But, once again, he honored a promise I extracted from him when I went into labor with our first child.

It was so incredibly important to me that our children's first experiences out of womb, even while being all cleaned up and examined, included being lovingly touched by a parent as well as reassured verbally the entire time.  Plus, they wouldn't be able to place the baby in my arms as they had to put back all my innards, stitch me up, and whatever else was happening behind that sheet they had erected during the c-section.  I had explained it meant more to me that he comfort and bond with our baby rather than hold my hand.

Over the years, circumstances have arisen that this was needed again. Obviously, it's happening big time now.

I have an awesome medical team in place and incredibly long list of friends who will take care of me. What I need is someone to be there for my kids, filling the void that happens as I undergo treatment. I need my kids to be doing not only what they'd normally do, but to still have FUN in their lives. Fun that I wish I could share but when I can't, gives me such joy to know it is happening for them.

So onto the medical update! That awesome medical team did their thing yesterday with my "little hammer" treatment.  It is amazing how cheerful the nurses are in the chemo room. I imagine it has got to be a hard job at times as well as mundane. But they keep a smile on their face and patiently and thoroughly answer all questions. It really is a pleasant experience, all things considered. (Now the side effects that follow the next few days aren't fun, but totally bearable.)

I am being treated for both the breast cancer and leukemia (the cancer had spread to one vertebra). After my "little hammer" treatment, Dr. R. gave me a thorough exam. This week, he could feel the lymph nodes with the cancer shrinking as well as more of the inflammatory aspects of my breast cancer disappearing. Which means the chemo is doing what it is supposed to be doing. Hopefully it is also working on what is happening in my vertebra.

And about that bone cancer, he also wants to put me on something that is technically for people with osteoporosis now to build up my bone strength. It certainly can't hurt and very well likely will help protect my bones from breaking from what's happening with the cancer growing there now.  It might not be needed, but why not get that insurance in place? Once again, making me feel I'm in such good hands with this doctor. I am so lucky.

Also lucky in that dear friends are coming to hang with me this weekend as my husband and son are heading to Maine this weekend. My white blood cell count dropped to the point my doctor wants me to be more careful about crowds and travel. I am on antibiotics just in case a wayward germ finds me, but then there is the part that a long car ride requires will be even longer with frequent stops. I'm at risk for a blood clot so can't take sitting in a car (or plane for that matter) for hours.  So having the option of fun weekend at home totally rocks!